She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
