I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
