quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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