dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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