well you can't waste a boner
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
