i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
