I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm bleeding and have questions
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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