Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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