It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
