This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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