the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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