A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My ass is underappreciated
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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