I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
