Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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