I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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