Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize