kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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