So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
