dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
