I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
