i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My dick has a subreddit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
