and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
