Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
