I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
