I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
