He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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