I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
