When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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