Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
