hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
