I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
