They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
