You made me cry and you don't even care
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
