Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
