I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize