So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
