Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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