I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
