im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
