I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
