We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
