therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize