SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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