i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
