You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
