There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
