I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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