TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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