Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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