Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
