covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
