this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
