I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
