last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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