my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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