I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
