You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
